Life Lived From The Inside

I visited home 4 months after my wedding and made it a point to visit the people I did life with, including some of the mamas from my previous home cell. I remember one of them asked how my father in law was, and I responded “He is fine. I haven’t seen him for like 2 months but he is well.” Confused, she responded “ You need to spend time with him. That’s one of your roles as a married woman, to add value into his family. Buy groceries for them every month, do stuff your husband never did so they see they have gained a gem.” I dismissively agreed. So here is my view, each couple has their way of doing things that works for them, however, we seem to think there is a pattern couples must follow, a prototype we have hidden under the word “culture”. Two weeks ago, this came up in a different scenario. One guy said that he prefers his wife to spend more time with his family than her spending time with her maiden family. After all, she is married, “I paid lobola and therefore, she

Think about it for a moment, how it really feels to be you today. Firstly, I don’t think you can get to know how you really feel today, when you don’t know how you felt 3, 5 or 10 years ago. I was watching a TV programme when the host asked this question. It was a thought-provoking question that left me desiring to reflect on it. As I took time to explore this question, it was frightening to realise how most people don’t pay attention to themselves. “Self-awareness is the rarest trait human beings have.” I have met people who have gone through most years of their lives ‘absent’ from it. A fact is, things happen in life that you learn the skill to switch off. You switch off to protect yourself; or at times it is to escape from the current reality you are in or, the past that you want to forget. Before you know it, it is as if you get awakened, and you can’t even recognise yourself. You can’t afford to lose yourself! Secondly, as you reflect and answer this questi

Two weeks ago I celebrated my third year in marriage, all by God’s grace. As I reflected on my marriage, I began to separate what is the truth about marriage, and what is not. I’ve always been observant of my life and my marriage, but last year was an eye opener for me as I got to observe different marriages and how some people view marriage. It was also evident that the devil is fighting so hard to ensure that marriages are viewed undesirably. More and more people start to lose hope in the union of marriage. In my 3 years in marriage, I have also come to realise the lies we've believed that are not even close to the truth.  You stay the same Change is inevitable. Nothing stays the same. As you grow old and mature, you will notice that even your taste in things changes. Why then, are you expecting your spouse to stay the same person you married? There are situations that will happen in your marriage/life that will change your view on life such as the